Driveby slappings

I grew up in Atlanta, which is a long-time contender in the list of cities with the highest murder rates, driveby shooting rates, and generally high crime rates. I tell you this because in 1998 when I told my dad that I was moving to San Francisco, one of the things he said was, "well son, out there you'll just have to worry about driveby slappings."

This, of course, was a reference to the gay stereotype that SF has (stereotypes don't come from nowhere), and it is a running joke in many parts of the country that San Franciscans don't use guns, they just slap each other on the driveby. This of course isn't true - San Francisco had more gun murders in 2005 than any point in its history. 316 people were shot, and 80 took the celestial dirt nap via a bullet in 2005. OK, I'm starting to get away from the cycling-related point of this post, but the notion of driveby slapping is funny, however.

So this morning I was reading Yahoo! News when I came across an article about a guy in Bogota, Columbia who just received FOUR YEARS HOUSE ARREST for slapping a woman on the ass as he rode by on his bicycle.

The best piece of the article reads, "Showing re-enactments of the incident, television news shows were filled on Friday with legal experts offering opinions about the judgment handed down..."

Can't you just see it? Columbian families gathered around the TV to watch the evening news, and the talking heads are replaying slow motion, macro focused shots of hand connecting with buttock. I love it!

So may I suggest to my more piggish male readers, and possibly some of the more burly chicks out there, the next time you are on your bike and see a gal with a nice arse, think twice before you slap. You might end up in the ankle bracelet wearing ranks of Martha Stewart.

Oh, and here is the article.